Attachment, Attunement & Avoidance

Subconscious Sundays | Episode 31 | August 4, 2024

presented live by Rev. April Kling and Timothy Freeman, CH

An EQ booster that may just help transform your relationships with others - and yourself.

In this episode of "Subconscious Sundays," I join Rev. April Kling to explore the critical concepts of attachment, attunement, and avoidance in relationships and emotional well-being.

Attachment styles, often formed and subconsciously imprinted in childhood, profoundly influence our ability to connect with others and navigate relationships. So we talk about the importance of attunement—being fully present and responsive to both our own emotions and those of others—as a cornerstone of healthy, meaningful connections.

We discuss the common tendency to avoid conflict, highlighting the benefits of addressing issues directly to foster growth and understanding. And rather than fall into toxic positivity, we instead advocate for a balanced approach that acknowledges and constructively processes negative emotions rather than suppressing them.

In this process of becoming more consciously acquainted with the subconscious, its drivers and signals, it’s helpful to hold fast to the value of detaching from rigid outcomes, which can allow us to remain grounded in the present and more adaptable to life's challenges.

We hope the insights in this episode help you, even in a small way, to maintain deeper emotional intelligence, improved relationships, and greater emotional well-being.

• Full Transcript

  Hello, everyone. Welcome to Subconscious Sundays. I am your co host, Reverend April Kling, and with me as always is my lovely co host, the fabulous Timothy Freeman. Hello, Tim. Hello. Hello, everybody. Welcome. Welcome. Today's topic is attachment, attunement, and avoidance.

  Hot topics in the world trending topics, but I'm going to put my own little twist on it as I always do. And before I get started with all of that, let's do a little intention setting. So shall we? Yes. So Subconscious Sundays, if you're just now joining us this is what we intend to be a fun and entertaining or at least laid back way to discuss potentially serious and heavy topics.

  We remain open and inviting and welcoming to those of you who have questions or ideas to respectfully bring those into the conversation. Yes, and this has become our weekly ritual that we love being here with you guys. Hopefully you love it too. Those who thank you for those who have been with us week after week, where we kind of gather our shared community here in a virtual sacred space while sharing our knowledge and experience and hearing your responses.

  so much. Yes, and our core values remain, or to remain respectful of our own and everyone else's individual journey to stay rooted in compassion for ourselves and others, promote growth and expansion and create a supportive community, which we wouldn't have if it weren't for you. Thank you for joining us.

  And today's topic is all about community in a way. Well, not all about community, just a little bit about community. Attachment, attunement, and avoidance is about the self and it's about others. And I'll go into that in just a second, but let's start with the lunchtime poll. Do you tend to avoid or to attune to your own emotions?

  And what about other people's emotions? And why now the response to this ran all over the place. We didn't get a ton of responses. It wasn't one of the hottest topics we've ever done. However, it definitely had a wide range of response and I'm happy to show them all. So today, you know, I definitely used to avoid all emotions, especially in my past relationship, mostly to avoid conflict.

  That's a juicy response. There's so many different parts of that that I could pick up and take and make a whole sermon on. But really the thing I love about, the most about Teddy's response is that It has all the different things I'm going to talk about in it, and it talks about avoiding my own emotions to, get through a relationship or to cope within a relationship of any, of any type really, mostly to avoid conflict.

  I'll be talking about that as well. So daddy's on my wavelength. So Deanna, an old friend of ours, I'm an empath. So being aware of everyone's emotions, including my own is unavoidable. It can be exhausting. It is a blessing and a curse, but in the end I feel like it's a superpower. The world needs you. Could definitely use more empathy where I used to hate it.

  Now I'm thankful for the way God made me. And I'll be talking a little bit about all the different ways that we can handle our own, emotional state when it comes to the receptive to other people. And I also want to refer back to one of our very first episodes with this one creating energetic boundaries is a fantastic episode for empaths who struggle with what Deanna describes here.

  So please. Go back to season one, if this is something that you relate to, watch that episode and then come back to, to us and watch this episode. Unless you're watching live, which in, in which case just stay here, stay with us. Jill says, I, I want to just take a quick moment since we're almost wrapping up season two to say that Jill's been with us every week with some With some kind of great commentary.

  So I just want to thank Jill again for being ready to watch her and say both She says both mostly I stay in the moment with my own and others emotions There are times when self preservation requires stepping back from others though Yeah, she was she's definitely seen the episode on energetic boundaries and there is definitely a little hint of that previous episode in there And then Bear says, who's not with us today, Tim?

  Oh, well, hi Bear. Anyway, she's going to wait. Well, hopefully she'll be with us for our season finale, which will be the last Sunday in August and a couple of weeks. Over the last three years, I have been doing the work to stop evading my emotional reality. Sobriety is a large part of this because it's not good enough just to be a dry drunk.

  We must actually face the part of ourselves we were avoiding through the addiction phase. and heal. So I'm learning to attune to and be with my emotions these days. Yes, she is. She's doing a great job too. So, we've covered a lot. Of ground here with the, with just the comments, like the thing I'm learning, I'm loving the most about the show and about the way that we've like formatted it and it, and it's been, you know, just really kind of a, as formatted as we go kind of show, but we've done it now for two seasons, well over a year, almost every Sunday, as long as we're kind of in season, right.

  And the thing I love the most is that the comments. Section has turned into like greater information than I could have possibly Researched on my own which was not my intention by setting it up It was really kind of just giving getting idea what people wanted me to talk about but now it's like a really excellent source Of good information on this topic.

  So the topic of attachment attunement and avoidance is really something that, like I mentioned at the very beginning of the show, it's really trendy and the reason it's trendy, it's because it's kind of taken the shape, this trend has taken the same shape as like the narcissistic kind of discourse online.

  Like, Oh, someone says a narcissist, like dealing with narcissistic abuse, dealing with narcissistic abuse. trauma, you know, like, is this person a narcissist? It's kind of migrated over, thankfully to this idea of like attachment theory and attachment style, which has been around. A while, but is just now starting to become part of the common vernacular and I have been aware of it for, you know, I would say about five years now, there are people who are emphatic about it.

  Like think it's pretty much like more important to know someone's attachment style than their zodiac sign, which. Could, could be probably is the idea that like your attachment style kind of goes back and forth between different among the different types depending on what relationship you're, the framework is in, like my attachment style, say with this with my, you know, with one relationship is going to be very different from a previous relationship or my next relationship.

  Right. So yeah. Different people kind of bring out different attachment styles. And just to give you a brief primer, if you're watching, I'm by no means an expert on this and it's not really what I'm going to be talking about today, but to, to talk about what attachment style really is. And it also kind of refers to the third part of my sermon, which is avoidance.

  There's, there's like secure attachment, which is like kind of the ideal, this idea that your relationship with somebody else. And I do, and it can also be referring to like intimate relationships or like coworker relationships and stuff like that too. But generally speaking, when we're talking about attachment styles, we're going to be talking about romantic relationships, which is why I'm going to expand it a little bit.

  Talk about relationships in general, including the relationship itself, but attachment style, It's like there's secure attachment, which is what you want, which is the idea that you're confident in your status in the relationship and you don't feel threatened by the other per by another person's emotions and you're also attuned to your own emotions and you're attuned to their emotions, so there's that second part, attunement, right?

  Then there's the avoidance, right? There's a fearful avoidant, which is kind of a, somebody who waffles around through the different like dysfunctional attachment styles of which I'll now go over. Then there's, oh gosh, Tim, I don't have my notes in front of me, but it's, there's a disorganized attachment and then there's a avoidant.

  And the, the avoidance is dismissive avoidance. There it is. Dismissive avoidance is somebody who's not in tune to their own or anybody else's emotions, mostly due to trauma, mostly due to relationships with their parents where their needs were not fulfilled. A disorganized attachment and fearful avoidance are the same thing.

  It's the idea that you kind of go all over the place to, in order to, to get your needs met. Like you behave as if you're dismissive avoidant when you feel like suffocated or bored. And then you act like you're an anxious attacher, which is somebody who feels like, like basically clingy, like somebody who has to be like really demanding in order to get their needs fulfilled.

  And you go back and forth between this. So I, like I said, that's not the source of what I'm talking about today. What I really wanted to talk today about was the idea of being attached to your desires because I've referred to that in other episodes and I promise you this will all make sense when I finish.

  But I've talked in the past, we talked about desire really on in the season and it just makes sense. Consistently has appeared throughout each episode. And I what I keep saying about desires is that it's not Inherently bad to desire something like we're taught in buddhism, right? It's not inherently bad to have a desire What becomes bad about desire is being identified with it or attached to it That's the attachment.

  I really want to talk about today and I want to relate it back also to attachment styles Because secure attachment means you don't identify as that person. Secure attachment, which is supposed to be the ideal, is supposed to be like this idea of being like healthfully aware of your own emotions, healthfully aware and attuned.

  To the other person's emotions in such a way where you realize that you're two separate people that you're, you know, able to co regulate, which I'll talk about in a second. And also, you're able to just see yourself as confident and able to be self sufficient. Not independent. That would be more of that whole Dismissive avoidant thing, like over independence is kind of go it, but just that idea that you're secure in who you are and you're secure that the relationship is going to be okay no matter what, even if it ends, even if it ends, lovely to think about, right?

  One of those things that's easier said than done. What I want to talk about with attachment is that there's this idea of being attached to the thing that you want. There's ideas of, in creativity, of being attached to the outcome, too. And what I teach about creativity, when I talk about the idea that creativity and spirituality are the same thing, what I like to talk about is being completely detached, completely removed from outcome.

  It's, again, easier said than done, but the idea is just being in process and in order to be in the process, you have to be completely, completely present and you have to be completely accountable in the present, right? So That detachment is not just saying that you're completely removed from the outcome because you know that there will be an outcome It's to say that you're not identified with your ability being good or bad as a result of the outcome that you're letting the outcome unfold as it will and I feel like we Should treat our desires the same way with that same level of attachment, like that same, like an attachment that's very loose in the grip.

  Something that like, I like to say, like carves your path rather than treats, treating it as a destination. And when we think about attunement, we have to think about attunement as that Being in the now that attunement is being present being attuned to the process Being attuned to your own emotions and when it comes to being in relationship, which was what attachment theory was, you know I Developed to describe being attuned to your own emotions so that you can be attuned to someone else's emotions So that you can co regulate so that you can speak to that person with a level of detachment Not independence, but the level of detachment from the ego and from outcomes Right?

  And when I say detachment from the ego, I mean detachment from that idea that you two people are separate. You are separate. Technically, yes, you all have your own body. They have their own body. But when I say that separate, I mean on a spiritual sense. We're all made of the same stuff. We're all really just different manifestations of the same thing, which is Source.

  Which is God, which is the universe, that we're all just dreaming this dream of separateness. That's what I mean by separateness. That attunement involves being aware of that dynamic as well, that we're all one, that we're all one thing, being seen as separate and being attuned to that as well as being attuned to exactly how we feel and being attuned with the idea that That our reactions to what we're feeling and what other people are feeling are not the same things as our, you know, it's like, what is it, Tim?

  Reactions and responses. Our responses don't necessarily have to be our reactions, like our emotional feeling, what that we feel when something happens to us, our response doesn't necessarily have to match what, how we emotionally react. So there's this attunement to that as well. That process, like I talk about that process of being in tune with your emotions means that you have stability in the now that unity with the present in order to be able to respond.

  rather than react. And that response requires that attunement. Now, now I'm going to move into the third portion of this sermon and talk about avoidance. Avoidance means not being present. It means being wounded in the past. It means, you know, and, and operating from that wound. And it also means acting out of anxiety and fear of the future.

  And when we talk about avoidance, when it comes to attachment theory, avoidance are people who are not in touch with how they feel, have no idea what they want. And definitely as a result of those two things are not able to be functional in a relationship. They are by nature dysfunctional relationship because they're unable to attune to their own emotions or anybody else's, much less other anybody else's.

  It is said by the experts in attachment theory, that avoidance are an epidemic. That more often than not, you're going to throw a dart or swing a dead cat and you're going to hit an avoidant rather than which is really, really, really, Sad. It's sad because there's so many people who were raised with abuse, so many people who were raised with neglect, so many people who were raised with abandonment or separation from their caregivers that they are, they make up the lion's share of humanity at this point in the Western world.

  And that is. a sad fact. I think it should be a sobering fact. I think it should be a fact that lights a little fire under our rear ends to heal and grow because we need one another. We need one another to heal. We need one another. We need relationships to help us grow as individuals. We're never going to be able to heal in a vacuum.

  We're never going to be able to Be fully attuned to even our own emotions if there's not somebody to reflect those off of. So it's really important for us to acknowledge that our own avoidance, and everybody does it, but are we characteristically avoidance? Everybody needs to deal with their own level of avoidance.

  I think that toxic positivity, is certainly an example of avoidance. I'll share it'll be grand as we say in Ireland. It's one of those things that has become pervasive in every spiritual and religious Like, environment is this idea that we need to think positively, and yeah, I agree that we do need to think positively.

  We also need to be very, very attuned to our emotions as we think positively about them. And as we do things like switch the narrative on the things that have happened to us in the past or anxieties for the future, we need to take, we need to be We need to bake in what is real for us. We need to bake in all of the negative aspects of those things that have happened to us in the past, things that we're afraid of in the future.

  That would be very balanced of us. That would be a great way of keeping us away from being avoidance. And if we are able to do all of that without this idea of being super attached to the outcome that we can allow with those nice, you know, with that loose grip. We can allow whatever needs to unfold in our lives to unfold gently.

  That's really kind of the gist of what I have to say today. I've gone like 20 minutes into this and it's time for me to wrap it up. I know we, I mean, clearly we talked about this before we came on here, but I always learn so much from you with the way that you you know, put, put these things together and express it.

  I think, you know, what, what strikes me I mean, a lot of things strike me here, but in, in the, in the context of the work that I do, you, so first of all, you mentioned avoidance or like an epidemic, right? Like there's a lot of people who are avoiding, well, here's in the framework I work in here, here's kind of loosely what, what, what we observe, right?

  There's, there's something that we perceive. In our with our senses, something happens to us or in our environment. We have a thought about it. That is essentially the meaning we apply to it. That sort of engenders and emotion, and this could be like a response or a reaction. Right? But naturally, like, it's sort of, you know, in terms of the motion, which leads to a feeling in the body, which leads to a behavior in the world and.

  Because the subconscious mind is so associative, there's so much of our early life that what happens to us in our early life that creates these like levels of meaning in our connections with others and our attachment style that, anytime anything resonates with that original stimuli. In our mind, in our subconscious mind, it's like, it's like, oh, that's in that bucket over here.

  This is like this is a fearful scenario, whether it's, you know, directly related or not. It just kind of resonates with it in our mind kicks off that whole loop. And so, you know, some people are aware enough to have recognized that sort of thing. And they've got other priorities or desires. Like they can't like tackle that.

  They don't even know where it's coming from a lot of times. Right. So avoid it. Like, so, so, you know, that's probably. By avoidance is so common. Mm-Hmm. . It seems safe to be avoidant, right? It seems safe, and if people are in avoidance of what it is they truly feel, or if they're in avoidance of intimacy, which is what avoidant refers to in attachment theory, it seems safe, but I don't think.

  People realize A, that they are avoidant, or B, that they're kicking the can. And when I say kicking the can, it means delaying the inevitable. Inevitably, you have to face whatever it is that you're avoiding and you have to acknowledge that you are avoiding what it is you're not facing. Yeah. And there's, I think there's a lot, there's a natural attunement to our own emotions, but it might just be a split second because it's unpleasant and we don't have the time or energy to deal with that right now.

  Right. Right. And then, and then, I don't remember which one of them it was, but they mentioned conflict. Who was that? Oh yeah, Teddy. Conflict. Yeah. Avoidance of conflict is truly avoidance of intimacy. You're not being, and we're learning this in peace. as well, like peace studies as well. If you're not dealing with the conflict, you're permitting violence to continue.

  And violence, as you may recall from a previous episode, which we, when we talked about peace, which I think was the season two premiere episode, when we talked about peace, If you're avoiding conflict and you're allowing the violence to continue, it's not really true peace. It's like a negative peace. It's like creating structures around not having to deal with the violence.

  And violence in the academic sense is defined by anything that limits your potential. Anything. So doing yourself, you're doing yourself a disservice. You're actually committing violence to yourself if you're avoiding conflict. And you're committing violence to other people too by avoiding conflict. It seems paradoxical.

  It seems unsafe because it seems like, oh, conflict and violence are the same thing. They're not. Conflict is the right field for either sowing violence or sowing healing. And conflict is merely the grounds for either one. You can pick how you want this to go, how you want to treat it, by staying attuned to what's really happening.

  Being attuned to yourself, and being attuned to the other, to the other party. That's what intimacy is all about. And to avoid intimacy, is to do yourself a disservice. And to avoid intimacy is violent! It's violent

  to more, more for you or to yourself. Right? Like, I mean, you could see it as being, you know, some people are avoidant to the point of punishingly avoidant. Right? So that's violence towards another, but often it's just, you know. You know, the harm is being inflicted on ourselves, right? There is a quote, and I've, I've brought this into the, these conversations in the past, I think, because it, it just always, I always resonate with it.

  Whether, whether I always live it or not is, is, is another question, but it, I'm going to paraphrase it. I might botch the exact wording, but it's, it's something like that. Something to the effect of that. There is, there is a space I'm really paraphrasing it here because I'm definitely losing the exact words.

  But the idea is that when something happens, that there is a space there between what happens and our response. In that space is our power to choose our response, but to add to that, like highly botched quote for that concept anyway, when we are allowing ourselves to attune to our own emotions in a healthier way, when we're able to, like, create what we're always talking about on the show, a deeper connection between our conscious and our subconscious minds.

  We create, An environment for ourselves that's like rich and insights here about the way we behave and the choices that we make and relating to others and the way we react to others in the world and the things that come up that might resonate with something in the past that kick off a loop of behavior and emotions, all of that, right?

  So, The key and you brought this out. I just want to really emphasize this. I think it's one of the important points you made. The key to success with relating to others is success and relating to ourselves, attuning, you know, allowing ourselves to attune to our own emotions that sort of automatically allows us to behave more thoughtfully, respond more thoughtfully in that space.

  Where we have our power. And the same for ourselves internally, we might have a knee jerk reaction with ourselves, right? But there is a space to have a more thoughtful response and it's too much for a thinking mind, like, you know, to analyze all on that level. So you've got to get quiet. Like you're never going to be able to like churn out those calculations with just your thinking mind in that.

  Sliver moment of power, right? That's right. But the more we can attune to our own emotions and create this deeper connection, let the supercomputer, the subconscious mind, kind of run that show. And it will. All the things that make attunement impossible, all the things that make a healthy attachment impossible, are generally going to be something that's found in the subconscious.

  And subconscious work requires a professional. It can, it can be done on the own. I mean, dream work is something that you could do largely by yourself, but it's something. And self hypnosis. Right. Similarly. Right. Right. But, but even when it comes to dream work, at some point there's going to be a time with dream work where you need to bounce it off somebody who knows what they're talking about, who knows what you're talking about.

  And I really feel that this is the most subconscious topic of all the subconscious Sundays episodes we've done in that regard. Because all that makes people, this epidemic. Of, of avoidance is to me an inability and an unwillingness to become intimate, as I like to say, with the subconscious. And, as Carl Jung says, and I am surprised we don't say this every single episode, maybe next season we should just start saying this every single episode on purpose.

  But as Carl Jung says, if you leave the unconscious unconscious, you will keep making the same mistakes and call it fate. And that's paraphrasing, that's not the exact words, but you will, you will continue tripping over yourself. You will continue being your own blockade to the things in life that make your life worth living, such as love, connection, intimacy, and you will keep saying that you're just hard done by in life and get into that victim cycle.

  And it's easy. It's so easy. To stay there, it's so much harder to dig, dig out and dig in and get it. That is true. But I want to say too that it is, it is so much easier to do that. But when you get into consistently connecting, deepening this connection, It might be, it might be more difficult at times, but all in all, it all becomes easier, right?

  Isn't that your experience with this? Yeah. It's like I was when I was at Tri Faith in Omaha earlier this summer, I was giving my talk. Ooh, I'll talk about that in a second. I was giving my talk Global Peace Within, and I was doing kind of like a little practice run with that, with the staff at Tri Faith, right?

  And we were talking about the idea that practice makes perfect. And I was like, okay, but practice is perfect. You're already doing the perfection by practicing. You're in the process. That's perfect enough. So the idea that we're getting in there and we're trying practice, it makes things easier practice.

  The idea of being in the process of it, the idea of actually when it comes to any creative endeavor, actually dancing instead of just thinking about dancing. actually painting instead of just thinking about painting over time becomes easier because you practice it. You become, you become, it becomes easier if you practice and this is no exception.

  Well, and you know, based, I I'm so excited for to hear your talk by the way. So I'm sure you'll tell us about this, but I will, you know, with the work that you do, it also bears mentioning for me to, to say. That, you know, we've got these disciplines like meditation and hypnosis and, you know, April's, you know, works with dream work and, and spiritual counseling and but also creativity so that, you know, we can deepen this connection between our conscious and our subconscious minds through the acts of dancing, creating art.

  And that's part of the cool stuff that April does in her work with creativity. So I just wanted to mention that also. So that makes it, that can make it not only easier, But you know, more fulfilling in a way, if you're working through some of these things in a creative process. Right. And to address overcoming your own inertia, that's another episode from season one.

  We're referencing ourselves at this point, Tim. Created a really fantastic body of work in these two seasons, and I just want to say that. This is the penultimate episode of Subconscious Sunday season two. So one more episode to go and then the summer ends and then we'll come back to you next spring. But we're glad that you're here.

  And without further ado, I want to introduce your beautiful meditation that you have prepared for us today. Okay, great. So, If you would like to participate in our hypnotic meditation today, go ahead and find a comfortable place where you are able to relax undisturbed for several minutes. Now, this is a we call it a hypnotic meditation.

  We do a little bit of, work to get you into a deeper meditative state, a hypnotic state of being, which is. It's safe and natural. We do it all the time. Probably multiple times during the day. Certainly when we're coming in and out of sleep, we're naturally in a hypnotic state. So. We're just capitalizing on a sort of natural way of being a natural state of being when we're connecting like this.

  So go ahead and find that find that place where you can just fully relax. And as you settle in to a safe and comfortable position where you can relax very deeply for the next few minutes, undisturbed, I just want to share a few words. About how the kind of the major subconscious driving forces behind our choices and how we relate to others, not just our desire for love and to be loved, but our need to feel loved and our need to connect with another human being, our need to feel safe in their presence.

  So, however, Attuned and empathetic our caregivers may or may not have been when we were being raised when we were learning to navigate our needs and our emotions and how we relate and communicate. At any point in our lives, from infancy to late adulthood, we do, at some point, become acutely aware of that felt sense of unworthiness, a feeling that we're unworthy of another's concern, or that we're unworthy of another's affection, or that we're unworthy of another's loving attention and empathy.

  When our need to securely connect to another with love and empathy. Empathy is not met that can become problematic for us as we kind of discussed, but when we get into a habit of regularly, consistently quieting our thinking mind, where we are intentionally deepening the conscious connection between, the thinking mind, our, our, our everyday consciousness and the deeper parts of ourselves, we can sometimes really get honest enough to reveal the truth behind our choices and relating behaviors.

  And to see through, even see through some of the stories, our thinking mind tells us about ourselves and others. So, as you're settling into this comfortable position, allowing yourself to relax, go ahead and just take a deep breath

  in. And as you exhale, release any tension in your body. And with each breath, you'll sink deeper and deeper into a state of calm and tranquility. Already feeling really pleasant in your body. Now, If you've closed your eyes, open your eyes momentarily and find a spot on the wall or the ceiling that's above your natural eye gaze.

  And as you take the next deep breath in, really focus in on that one little spot. Notice every little nuance, the texture, the color, the shape. And as you exhale, look through that spot as if you could see straight through the wall. You might notice the corners of the room. And when you're ready, go ahead and close your eyes.

  Go ahead.

  Now relax your jaw, and as you do, you start to feel all of the tiny muscles in your face just letting go. And your jaw relaxes further and further, and you relax your neck, drop your shoulders. Really good. And gradually slow down your rate of breathing now. Get into just a comfortable Slower rate of breathing with a really long exhalation as

  you settle in more comfortably, you start to feel even better in your body, which then allows you to relax even further.

  I relax the back of your tongue. See how relaxed you can get this part of your body. In essence, you're decoupling your tongue. From the part of your mind preparing to speak, preparing to react, or even preparing to respond. There's nothing for you to do right now. You're in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.

  And it just feels really good to just allow yourself to let go of any tension in your body. We often think that our thoughts come from our brain and our head. But I'd like you now to drop your consciousness into your heart. Whatever that means for you might have some fun imagery, an elevator heading down to your heart, or you might just feel that you're living right now, breathing, existing more from your heart.

  Good. Take your attention to the feeling of the surface beneath you. The sense of gravity gently holding you close to the earth. And as you focus on this sensation, you feel even more and more settled, comfortably relaxed. Into the earth supported by life itself. And as you take in a deep breath, you focus on that feeling of gravity supporting you, and it helps you send your awareness down into the earth deeper and deeper, or each layer grounded and supported way down to the very center of the earth connection.

  As that awareness fades, you go even more deeply and even more comfortably relaxed, grateful for the support that you feel. And you're now in harmony with the pulse of the planet and send this feeling of relaxation all the way from the top of your head to the very tips of your toes. One, two, three, take in another deep breath and allow your awareness now to reach upwards up, up, up into the universe, up as far into the heavenly realm of inspiration.

  and insight and clarity as you would like to go. Call in now your higher power, whatever that is to you, any and all of the loving guidance of your spiritual allies. If you hold those beliefs and just know that an all encompassing love fills you and your environment and you're deeply, deeply loved. And as you bring your awareness back down, down, down into your body, let that grounded nurturing energy of the earth and the wisdom and clarity of the divine Just exist and co mingle in this balance point that is your heart so that you can now feel at once grounded, settled, and calm, both open to inspiration and feeling supported by life itself.

  Good. Now imagine a warm golden light surrounding your body, filling you with an even deeper sense of peace and tranquility, almost weightless now, very spacious. And as you focus on this sense of spaciousness all around you. Almost as if you can't tell where your body ends and the rest of your world begins.

  It feels really good. Just really pleasant. Feel this golden light surrounding you, washing away any last bit of tension or stress in your body, leaving you in an even deeper state of relaxation and stillness. And as you slow your rate of breathing, even further, just comfortable, slow, relaxed breaths.

  You'll notice just how still your body and your mind can become, and you get just still enough to start to feel the flow of life all around you, warm and luminous.

  Drop back into this flow and just let go into it. Feel it. Take your awareness now to a time in your life when you felt really heard, supported, loved by another person. Imagine yourself at this very moment. You're experiencing those feelings, be there now, allow yourself to be there. Where are you? What is the felt sense like for you right now in your body?

  What does it feel like to be heard and supported by another person in your body? Really tap into that feeling. What is this other person doing? It's helping you to feel safe and loved here. Maybe they're not doing anything. What's happening here? Let the scene unfold. And again, focus in on that felt sense in your body, safety, security, support, love.

  Is there something this other person is saying? Are they saying anything particular? Perhaps not. Maybe it's just something about their presence. I'm going to count to three in a moment. And at the end, at the count of three, this scene will fade away. One, there you are witnessing yourself and another person.

  Two, as the scene is fading away. You become aware of a time in your future with someone who you love, who is that someone who you want to support and three with the magic of your mind, take your awareness right to that person in your life who you love and you, who you always want to lovingly support.

  And right now, just reflect what you just experienced from that other person to the person you love in your life. Maybe you're saying the same kind of things. This person you love might be struggling with something, they might just have given you some kind of signal that they need to be heard about something.

  They might be acting out to get this type of attention, but you know what that feels like. That need, that desire to feel supported and loved and safe. To communicate your needs. They might be trying to communicate a need to you right now. What are you reflecting back to them? To help them feel safe, supported, heard, seen.

  Take your attention back to that felt sense in your body. When you were on the receiving end of this. Where do you feel this felt sense of support? Where is it concentrated?

  I'd like you now to take With your dominant hand, your thumb, and your forefinger, as you're focusing on this felt sense inside of you of exactly what it feels like to be seen, heard, and loved. Where is it concentrated in your body? Pressing your thumb and forefinger together now on your dominant hand, gently rub those two fingers together as you tap in once again to that felt sense in your body.

  Thinking once again to that previous scene. Where you're being loved and supported feeling that felt sense in your body and jumping out of the scene where you're with someone who you love still tapped into that felt sense in your body what it feels like to be loved and heard and supported rubbing that thumb and forefinger together that feeling intensifies and it grows it grows outside of the bounds of your body becomes so powerful you can really feel it what it feels like.

  Not what you think, what it feels like, not the story of what's happening here, but what it actually feels like to you rubbing that thumb and forefinger together. Good. Now, stop rubbing your thumb and forefinger together and just relax tuned into that sense in your body and know that from here forward this week or in the weeks and months ahead, you will now be able to tap directly into this felt sense in your body.

  Of exactly what it feels like. To be loved and supported anytime you'd like to conjure this feeling anytime you'd like to reflect this and help another in your life get to this point where they're able to feel this, just rub your thumb and forefinger together. It'll bring it right back up for you. If you choose.

  This is all voluntary. You can use this tool or not, but when things for sure, this felt sense in your body, you've been able to tap into it sticks with you. You know what it feels like, feels really good. And you'll be even more easily able to help others feel this in your presence, too, when they need loving attention or support.

  I'm going to count from one to three. When I get to three, we'll emerge from this hypnotic meditation feeling even better. And like we have a little bit of insight into the way we want to relate to our loved ones. One, slowly spaciousness all around you. Once again, light. Almost weightless. Good. To bring your attention back to that feeling of gravity supporting you, the chair or the bed or the couch pushing up into your back, helping you to feel safe, secure, and attuned to your own emotional state.

  And three, moving your fingers, moving your toes, opening your eyes when you're ready. And right back here with April and I on Subconscious Sundays. Thank you very much.

  Thank you so much, Tim. Beautiful job. It was lovely to go into that experience of like feeling loved. You know, when, when do we ever allow ourselves to do this kind of thing? Never. Never. Never. Really? It's kind of spontaneous. It's a spontaneous miracle in our life, but it sure is nice. Yeah. So why not, why not revivify it?

  When we need it. Exactly. Yeah. Creating that space to feel that beautiful sense of love for others and, and love from others to us, creating that space for that, that is done in safety and comfort is just so precious. So thank you for making that possible and facilitating that today. That's lovely. Thanks for inspiring it.

  And I wanted to just quickly say that we do have one more episode to go, which will be the last Sunday in August. And what's happening after that, Tim, is the first. Sunday in September, which is actually the 1st of September. I'm going to be giving the same talk that I gave at the race, religion, and social justice conference in Omaha earlier this summer.

  It's called global peace within I'll be going over everything that I've learned in peace studies so far and getting my master's degree in international peace studies. And it was a talk that I put together. Just really kind of put together all of my book learning into a PowerPoint presentation, but thanks to the great staff at Tri Faith Initiative in Omaha, I was able to really hone it into something special and make it really turn peacemaking and peace building into a creative endeavor for people and realize that anybody can do it.

  We're all capable of being effective peace builders. So if you want to learn more about that reach out to me find me on my socials. I'm I'm pretty much everything as Rev April clean, R E V A P R I L K L I N G on all social media channels now. So find me on Instagram, on threads or on Facebook, I'm on all three, or you can find me on on there as creativity is spirituality as well.

  I'll get you all the details. Yeah, this is September 1st, right? Yes. It's Sunday. It's at the same time as subculture Sundays. It's like 6 p. m London Dublin which ends up being central standard time in the States and At noon and then it would be 1 p. m. For Eastern 11 a. m. For Mountain and 10 a. m. Pacific So please come and, and the tickets are pay what you can.

  So everybody is capable of, of coming to this talk. Even if you just pay the very minimum that Eventbrite will let you, but I'll get you that link if you need it. If you need it. And I, and you can't find me on social media, then just email me at creativity is spirituality at gmail. com or just plop a comment underneath this video.

  I will see it and I will reply to your comment with the link so that you can purchase a ticket on eventbrite for whatever price you want to pay. I have to come up with, I will see you guys there. Yeah, Tim will be there. And I have to raise, this is a fundraiser to be frank. I have to come up with the money for this year's tuition so that I can continue my education.

  I need to make about 6, 000. So not asking you to pay 6, 000 for your ticket, but you can if you want to, if you can. Pay that amount for the ticket. That'd be lovely. I would really appreciate it But pay as much as you can or as little as you can as well. That's fine. Whatever amount you can And then as always Thank you James for being here his last comment here to us.

  That was just a beautiful feeling feeling loved with them. It's so fabulous We want to make Make it clear to you all that we are accessible to you, that the work that we do directly affects your ability to do the things we talk about to heal and grow here on these these episodes. Every time we talk about how it's easier said than done, and how much easier it is when you work with a professional, we're both here for that.

  So if you want to work on a subconscious level with Tim and hypnosis, his information to set up a free, no obligation, appointment is always in every description of every video. video we make. Same for me. If this is something that you want to talk to me about on a spiritual level and you want to get in more into that talk therapy thing where you want to feel seen, heard and understood, my link is below as my link is always below as well.

  And, and we have done some really great experimentation this season with with a client or two. Or two on working together, having this moment to work with Tim with hypnosis and be in receipt of that work, you know, in, you know, in taking in the hypnotic trance that Tim can help you get into and teach you how to do on your own.

  And then also take all those insights. It's over to April and take all those insights over to me. That's how it works. And we can put a unique package together depending on your needs that fulfills what it is you're looking for in order to heal and grow from all of the hurts and wounds of your own past so that you can overcome your anxieties and fears about the future.

  And we haven't actually decided on a topic yet for the final episode of the season. It's in two weeks. We've been chewing on a few. Yeah, we share that with you, but I just want to throw it out there to our regular viewers if you have any ideas. Shoot. We'd love to hear it. So, we'll come up with something.

  We always do. But, if you have a great idea for the last episode of the season finale of season two of this fantastic show that we really both enjoy doing and that has helped us grow and heal. Through everything that we go through in our own lives. If you have an idea for it, we're all ears. We want to go out with a bang.

  So, we want to make sure it's perfect. In the meantime, though, if we don't hear from you, we will see you then. And thank you as always for joining us and we'll see you next time in two weeks.